They say, “Life begins at 40”, I personally don’t think it begins at 40, but turning 40 somehow has left me feeling confident and empowered. I have never sat down and thought about how I would feel, it just happened last week. I was trying to understand why I was so excited to turn 40? I love birthdays and always have, but somehow this birthday left me with an inner peace. A feeling I have never felt before.
If I reflect back on life, it was always full of the unknown, so many unanswered questions, and most of them come from an external source. When you leave school, they start to ask what career path you are taking? When you have a long term boyfriend, you are asked when you are getting married? When you get married, you are asked when you are having kids? When you have a child, that is not enough, everyone wants to know, when are you going to have another? When you have kids of the same sex, they all want to know when you are going to try for one of the opposite sex. Nothing ever seems to be enough. The thing is that just because you turn 40, it does not mean that the world around you will stop questioning you, the change somehow comes from within.
My life journey has always been one filled with being far too hard on myself, always trying to be the best at everything I did. I was constantly trying to find out what success was, and wondering if I would ever get there. Not a day went by that I was not trying to be perfect in others eyes, and I worried far too much what people thought and said. I was terrified of failing and wondered if I would ever be good enough?
I am still me, still the same person I was the day before. These personality traits will pop up from time to time, the difference is that I am finally truly content with how my life has turned out. It is almost like all of a sudden, someone has turned the light on. I am finally at peace with myself, flaws and all. I may not be the best in the world, but I am my best! There is no such thing as the perfect Mother, as hard as I try, I am not perfect, yet my kids are still happy and balanced. My mistakes have not had a negative impact on them, fortunately I think that most of the time they were too young to realise that I had messed up in the first place. What does count is the way they still kiss and cuddle me, as big as they are, mommy always makes everything better.
I took the time to really look around at my beautiful family, my amazing friends, the lovely place we call home, the joy that each day brings. All the laughter and smiles, and It dawned on me that once I had evaluated my life, I realised how truly happy I am inside and out. I have not achieved every goal that I wished to, but the path my life has taken has been even better than I could ever imagine. I feel fulfilled, confident and at peace. It may have taken me 40 years, but I have gained wisdom and courage and a childlike excitement towards the future.
40 has taught me:
- And Inner peace are what truly define success.
It is not that you only start living at 40, but by the age of 40 you finally understand what is important to you as an individual, you start to live a life that has your best interests at heart.
Yesterday I turned 40, the BIG 4 O, wow, not quite sure how that happened and where the time went? The funny thing is that you so often hear of people turning 40 and having a major midlife crisis. I am not sure why but I feel like I am having a midlife celebration or jollification. I am actually really excited about being 40.
I am finally loving life and looking forward to embracing my naughty 40’s.
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