I was at the movies the other evening and I was a little horrified at how most of the girls were dressed. Now don’t get me wrong, I remember going out with hot pants and a mid-drift top on and thinking nothing of it. I also clearly remember the one night I was dressed and ready to leave when my Dad asked me if I was going to put some pants on with my shirt. I looked at him and replied, “it was not a shirt, it is my dress!!!” he reassured me that it was by no means a dress and if I would still like to go out, then it was time to change. Yes, I rolled my eyes and kind of stomped off to my bedroom to change. The thing is that I did not understand what the problem was.
The sad reality is that only since I have been married do I understand the effect of clothes on a man. I don’t believe that any of these girls go out dressed like they do because they want to have sex. I believe it is because they want to feel beautiful and sexy, and they want to fit in. They enjoy being noticed. The problem comes that they don’t yet understand how the male mind works. They don’t understand what they are being noticed for. They do not understand the unintentional signals that they are giving off.
As we know men are visual beings, so when a girl goes out wearing a provocative, skimpy outfit, the boys are not looking at her and thinking wow she looks so pretty. He finds his mind wondering off as to how she has turned him on, how he is feeling when he looks at her. He is now full of raging hormones and feeling as Horney as hell. Not because the girl said that they could become intimate, he probably cannot even hear what she is saying. All he can think about is how he is feeling. Now let’s reverse roles.
It is a pool party and the guys are running around in their jocks, as cool as they may feel, when the girls look at them, they don’t feel turned on, they don’t get excited by the site of underwear, and it certainly does not increase their attraction towards the guys. In fact, the girls probably don’t notice their underwear, they are more interested to watch them running around, laughing and joking. Hoping to see a stray smile come their way. Yes, they are looking for the emotional bond.
They are not visually turned on like boys are so how on earth are they supposed to understand what effect their cloths have on the opposite sex. Don’t get me wrong, we all notice those sexy bodies, and love to look at a good set of abs. We appreciate it, but we do not lust over it.
We much prefer the good body to be accompanied by a loving, caring personality. This also goes far beyond the clothes you wear; it is also very much the way you behave. Your body language will give off signals of what you are wanting. Licking your lips, pouting, chewing on your bottom lip, flicking your hair, the way you sit, the way you look at them, are all signals that men read as sexual, even if they are not intended that way.
Let’s have a look at the picture below. Although these girls may look beautiful in their dresses and never once considered that they would be giving off the wrong signals. Do you think a guy would stand behind them thinking wow, what beautiful hats they are wearing? Whether intended on not, he would find himself focusing on the girls beautifully shaped rear ends, the line that their underwear left, and nothing else. This does not make him a pervert or a bad guy. It is simply the way boys are wired.
Let’s make it our goal to ensure that our daughters dress for respect and too impress, and not to attract unwanted attention. Teach them to understand how men think and the way in which their clothes tell a story. We always so that you should not judge a book by its cover, but the reality is that we do, and often the cover has nothing to do with the real story. Let your girls understand the potential danger that they are putting themselves in by the way they dress and their body language. Let’s keep our daughters safe. Let’s help them find a man that will truly love them for who they are and not what he thinks they are willing to give.